We did end up going all the way downtown today to talk to the doctor about our physical results. A long, annoying hike, to find out that basically we were right about everything - that in spite of the nurses' repeated "normal" verdict, we both could stand to raise our HDL ("good cholesterol") levels and that the right procedure for this is exercise and red wine. I really feel like we could have been told this over the phone.
And I was right. We were getting an Asian no. The doctor does not do telephone consultations, in spite of every single nurse telling me I'd be able to talk to him if I just called back at a different time. Side note, mitigating at least the doctor's role in all of this: part of the reason we couldn't get hold of the doctor last week was that his wife was having surgery for thyroid cancer. So I feel kind of bad about bugging him with e-mails, but really relieved that I resisted the temptation to send him mean ones. I tell you what, Dale Carnegie never steers you wrong.
In any cases, this whole frustration could have been averted if the nurses just leveled with me over the phone. But the good news is they didn't charge us for this - they just added it to the "physicals" tab that's going to the insurance company. Which is right, I think.
Anyway, off to Malaysia!